#because we were so excited for it and so proud of it

[5sospenguinqueen]

Am I The Problem? | Franco Colapinto x Williams! Reader

Summary: After finding out you were going to be teammates, you and Franco have very different reactions. Franco is prepared to worship the track you race on whilst you do everything to ignore him. Until it becomes impossible to

Warnings: angst, swearing, the loss of a family member, a suggestive comment

Requested: Yes by anon (full request)

F1 Masterlist

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williamsracing just posted

liked by jensonbutton, jackdoohan and others

francolapinto dream reality

18,200 comments

williamsracing welcome to the team. we’re so excited to have you become part of the williams family 

user1 so they’re replacing logan, an f2 driver promoted to f1 too soon, with an f2 driver promoted to f1 too soon?

officialmpmotorsport we’re very proud of what you’ve achieved this season, and good luck in f1

user2 this doesn’t feel fair. he’s getting a seat (amazing) but will be paired with a driver who doesn’t want him there

dennis_hauger 👏🏻👏🏻

user3 has anyone checked on yn? she was always so happy to be racing alongside her childhood friend, and now they don’t even get to finish the season together

yn_ln just posted

liked by oscarpiastri, charles_leclerc and others 

yn_ln i knew i was going to have to say goodbye at some point but i never expected it to be so soon. i couldn't have asked for a better teammate but at least you’ll always be my friend. i’ll miss you so much, lo lo, but i will be there supporting you wherever you go next 

23,096 comments

logansargeant 🤍

→ user4 signs of life! 

→ user5 the fact that she is the only person he has responded to

user6 even when she’s devasted, she stays respectful. literally the perfect role model for girls in karting

user7 chat, do we think yn will stay with williams next year?

→ user8 i don’t think she even wants to stay with williams for the rest of the season

→ user9 she looks so miserable any time she’s with them/james vowels

user10 poor franco. she didn’t even congratulate him on any of the posts

→ user11 because she doesn’t have to

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yn_ln posted a new story

logansargeant replied wow so i really am easy to replace → yn_ln lo, no…  → logansargeant how many more times are you going to fall for that? → yn_ln dickhead  → logansargeant the internet was right. you are the personification of satan → yn_ln 🖕🏻🖕🏻

oscarpiastri replied haha the heart eyes are winning you over → yn_ln you can’t say anything, lando lover → oscarpiastri 🙄

user12 replied girl, did you cover up James’ face? 😂

francolapinto replied is that me?? 

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Thumb scrolling down your feed, you couldn't stop the wounded look twisting your face. Numerous tweets glanced back at you, informing you that your teammate’s fans had a very low opinion of you. Was it really a shock that you wouldn’t like journalists hounding your teammate? Had you truly been that mean to him that signs of basic human decency came as a surprise?

The door to your driver’s room was cracked open slightly, allowing you to catch a glimpse of the disconsolate body that shuffled past. A cap covered his usual mop of curls and his head hung low. All he wanted was to hide away in his driver’s room. Away from the hustle and bustle of the garage. All alone. 

“Franco.”

A soft voice broke him from his sorrow. He’d never heard it say his name before, and he’d certainly never heard that gentle tone directed at him. His head snapped up in disbelief. Spinning around, he moved too fast and stumbled slightly. A pink flush decorated his cheeks, realising he’d just embarrassed himself in front of the woman finally talking to him. Your head poked out of the gap between your door and the wall. Almost hesitant to bridge the space between the two of you. You weren’t even fully aware of when you had moved, or decided to talk to him. But here you were, staring at his brown eyes, widened with scepticism.

Committing to your actions, you pushed yourself into the hallway. Unused to such close proximity to you, Franco took two shaky steps back. He could almost feel the wall behind him. 

“I heard about your grandfather. I just wanted to offer my condolences.” Your teeth pulled at your bottom lip. “The media were out of line this morning.” 

“Oh, thank you.” 

Uncomfortable silence stretched between the pair of you. A need to fill it swelled within you.

“Nobody would blame you if you needed the day off. It’s not like we’re going to win any points in the Sprint.”

“I bet you’d like that. A race without me,” his tone was sharp, edged with grief. 

It was a stark contrast to the light, playful timbre you’d become accustomed to hearing around the garage. Hurt briefly flickered across your face, causing him to almost regret his words. But he’d had enough. 

He was tired. He was hurt, and he was not in the mood to be treated like he wasn’t there. Every day he hoped that you would finally speak to him. That you would smile at him, or share the glowing personality you had around the rest of the Grid. When he was still in F2, he’d been lucky enough to spend a day or two with you, and you’d been so warm and inviting. But, the person he was introduced to when he replaced Logan Sargeant hadn’t shown any sign of the person from before. 

“Wait, what? No. Franco, I just… Look, I found out from Twitter and-”

“It’s not like you give me the chance to tell you things in person.” 

Rubbing your hand over your face, you pondered whether you were doing more damage than good. All you wanted was to make amends, and not treat him like shit on a shitty day. Realising you couldn't make things worse, you decided to own up to your less-than-stellar behaviour. 

“Franco, I just wanted to say… I don’t really know what to say. Other than that, I am so incredibly sorry for the way that I’ve acted these past couple of weeks. Believe me, I’m not proud of my actions, and it’s been made very clear to me that I could be ruining your dream.” 

Your feet very subtly shifted closer to him, and his body was acutely aware of the smaller window of space between the two of you. The hairs on the back of his neck raised when the scent of your perfume invaded his nose. He loved that smell. 

“I’ve been so terrible to you. The internet knows that I’ve been terrible to you. And what makes it all that much worse, is that it doesn’t really have anything to do with you.”

Franco watched you inhale deeply before barrelling forward with your heartfelt apology. Your nose had pinkened from the exertion of your speech. Franco decided it was the most adorable thing he’d ever seen. 

“The truth is, I was angry. I was angry at the team, and the management, and the way they treated Logan was horrendous. But I didn’t realise that I was then doing the same thing to you, and I’m really sorry. I’m aware that none of this justifies my behaviour or makes it right but I just need you to know how much I regret what I’ve done. You’re so talented, Franco. If you had joined the team at any other time, I would’ve been flattered that you were so excited to be my teammate. I still am and-”

“Querida, breathe.” Franco’s lips curled in the corner. A small smile but the first time he had done so since yesterday. “I get it. You’re sorry. You were still mean though.” 

Your heart fluttered at the affectionate term he’d used. After years of working with Spanish drivers, you’d picked up a few words here and there. Unfortunately, his following words ruined any hope you’d felt. 

Scuffing your shoe against the floor, you avoided looking at him. “I know. I know. I don’t know how I’ll ever make it up to you.”

Franco reached out, taking your hand into his. His palm was warm and heated against your cold, almost clammy one. He was endeared by how nervous you seemed to be. At his touch, your head finally lifted to look at him. You were taken aback when your eyes met his, realising he was already staring at you. 

“You could always give me your seat.” He let out a booming laugh at the look of shock on your face. 

“Oh, I get it, you’re winding me up.” You pushed him away from you but your combined hands just ended up pulling you into him.” 

“I wasn’t lying in those interviews. You really are one of my idols. It’s going to take a bit more than a tantrum for me to be mad at you. However, if you really feel you need to make it up to me, I’m not going to object.” 

A body turned the corner, causing you to leap away from the Argentinian. His eyes twinkled as he did his best to keep his face neutral. You scrambled to compose yourself when John, your physiotherapist, glanced between the two of you. He raised his brows before walking past you and into your driver’s room. 

“You have 30 seconds, Yn, to finish your conversation and get your ass in here.” He closed the door behind him, allowing you some privacy. 

Franco turned to walk away, knowing you liked to run on a tight schedule, and not wanting to infringe on that when you seemed to be making a shaky form of peace.

“Dinner!” You blurted out, voice bouncing off the white plastic walls. 

Staring at his muscular back, you watched his shoulders shake with silent laughter before he turned back to look at you. 

“What about it?” 

“Do you eat it?” How were you making this worse!?

“Yes, every day.” 

He wasn’t making this easy on you. 

“Maybe, if you’re not busy this evening, I could buy you dinner when we get out of here.”

“It would have to be early. I don’t know if you know this but I have a very busy day tomorrow.”

“I think I prefer not talking to you.” 

“I’d love to have dinner with you, Cariño,” Franco smiled, “so long as you don’t spend the entire meal sullenly glaring at me. It seems to be a habit with you.”

An irritated shout of your name sounded from inside your room, reminding you that you were well past your allotted thirty seconds. 

Not wanting Franco to have the last word, you looked at Franco before you entered your room. “I’m not sorry that I snuck an LS2 cap into your pile of hats to sign.”

His face turns from pure adoration to unadulterated offence. “That was you?!” 

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yn_ln just posted

liked by jv.f1, lewishamilton and others 

its_yn my boy 💕

23,431 comments 

williamsracing took team bonding to a new level

→ francolapinto i aim to please 

user13 i knew that episode of team torque was carrying a different kind of tension

→ user14 no because he was so giggly and she was giving him full on banter 

→ user15 let’s not ignore how she kept blushing when she caught him looking at her

user16 she fell victim to the heart eyes

→ yn_ln how could i not? have you seen how intense they are? 

user17 oh no because now how do we tell who the biggest simp is 

francolapinto my lips are still waiting for that kiss

→ yn_ln come here then

→ francolapinto 🏃🏽🏃🏽💋

→ user18 oh no. now we have to deal with this instead 

logansargeant excuse me but where is his shirt in that last picture 

→ oscarpiastri completely scandalous behaviour. reported 

→ yn_ln piss off the pair of you 

→ logansargeant @/oscarpiastri pay up. she did my thing first 

→ oscarpiastri technically she did my thing first 

→ francolapinto she did both in the same day 

→ yn_ln franco!

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requests open. they may just take a while

coming soon; max taste part 3 and toto thirst

tag list

@peachiicherries @rosecentury @c-losur3 @heavy-vettel @evie-119 @raizelchrysanderoctavius @lilorose25 @sillyfreakfanparty @iloveyou3000morgan @justaf1girl

[msfantasy-anime]

A Visit from Father

Monkey D. Luffy x Wife!Reader

Summary: Y/n’s father Mihawk has visited to check in on his daughter.

A/n: I wasn’t ever going to give Y/n parents in this AU. But someone sent a DM requesting to Mihawk to be the father and on good terms, so here we are hehe. You mother is whoever you want to picture.

Part IX

Where the hell is everyone?! One minute you were all walking down the street. The next minute everyone walked off on their own without saying anything.

Whilst you begin to wonder the back streets yourself, you came across someone you expected the least.

“Dad?!” You shout with pure excitement, jumping into the arms of Dracule Mihawk, who is suddenly standing right before you in a random back alley. “What’re you doin’ here?”

“Saw your wanted poster.” Mihawk answers, holding up the newest edition. “Came to check in on you.” He answers, his demeanour remaining void of emotion, but the corner of his lips twitch ever so slightly at his daughter. “I just wanted to check in on you...“

“Huh? What about it?” You grumble, unable to resist making a sour face.

“You know, I never wanted this life for you.” Your heart plunges, unable and uninterested to be lectured by your father. It’s rare to cross paths and you just want to enjoy him being there whilst you can until he rushes off like he always does.

“Ugh, are you serious right now? Let’s not talk about it let’s just go and-”

“Listen.” Mihawk says, grabbing your shoulders and forcing you to listen. Your eyes darting away, unwilling to have a heart to heart with your father who you haven’t seen in a long time, next to some garbage. “After the Marines took your mother from us, simply because she was my lover, made me realise that you could never live a normal life with my name attached.”

“Yeah I know. You made the hard decision to leave me to be raised by others and your sacrifice was all for nothing because I went and became a pirate anyway- well I’m sorry to disappoint you-“

“Stop. You do not disappoint me.” Mihawk said sternly, his fingers digging into your shoulders and gives you a slight shake as if shaking you would bring you back to your senses. “You would never disappoint me. But since you now have a bounty, I see no reason to hide you from the world anymore.”

Your heart begins racing at your father’s words. “So what are you saying?”

“I’m saying, I want you to come live with me, I can teach you, spend time with you, take you on adventures.” He offers. “And I want the world to know you are my daughter. There’s no reason to hide you anymore.”

You missed out on being with him in your early years and now is your chance to spend time with him. But…

“It’s a dream come true dad… but…” Mihawk had some suspicions before, but he’s certain now.

“My offer doesn’t expire my girl.” He says, pulling you into a hug. “When you are finished with your adventures, the front door will always be open, ready to welcome you home.” Your eyes welled up but you swallow back your emotions, too embarrassed to cry.

Mihawk holds your face one last time before turning to leave. “Dad, before you go, I just wanted to thank you for leaving me in the east blue all that time ago.” Mihawk pauses, his eyes widening, his back remaining turned to you. “I could not have imagined what life would’ve been like without Sabo, Ace and of course … my husband, Luffy.”

“Your mother would be so proud of the woman you grew up to be.” Mihawk smiles at your bittersweet fair well. “Take care of my girl for me Strawhat.”

“Will do.” Luffy answers making you jolt from your spot.

“Ah! Seriously?! How long have you been standing there?!” You screech making Luffy cackle.

“Still afraidy cat huh?” He teases but quickly shuts up when he sees your serious face.

“I’ve just been thinking.”

“Yeah?”

“My dad won’t hide me from the rest of the world anymore, which means I’ll be known as Dracule Y/n.”

“Yeah and?” Luffy asks, picking his nose.

“I know I shouldn’t care but I do! You’re my damn husband and I want people to stop questioning it! Take me to the courthouse so we can hurry up and make this official already!”

“Huh?! We already talked about this damnit! We don’t need papers! We already had the wedding and everything!” Luffy protests but you stomp off on a mission.

“I don’t care! We are doing it again!”

[womenwoso]

Hi guys, this is my first time ever writing a fic, so I don't know how well it went, but I hope you enjoy it. Also, massive thank you to @helen-with-an-a for proofreading it and just being amazing.

SISTERS ON THE FIELD

You had always held Aitana in high regard. It was not solely due to her being your older sister, but also because she was an undeniable force on the field. Throughout your childhood, you often found yourself in the shadow of her abilities. She was the standout player, constantly guiding her team with poise, skill, and an insight no one else had. However, today marked a change.

You and Aitana were now teammates, a setting where you were no longer merely "Aitana’s sister." To your teammates you were a player in your own rights. You had a feeling that to the media you were just and would probably always be Aitana’s little sister. After years of dedicated practice, you felt prepared for this moment.

As the first practice neared the nerves increased and lingered a voice in your head telling you that you didn’t deserve this opportunity. But having your sister by your side silenced those voices and calmed the nerves slightly.

"How are you feeling?" she inquired, her tone steady yet imbued with the warmth that made her so endearing.

"Im... I’m ready," you replied, striving to project confidence despite the rapid beating of your heart.

Aitana offered a gentle smile. "That’s great. You know I’m proud of you, right? You’ve made so much progress. Remember that and whatever happens out there, I love you."

You gazed at her, full of gratitude and anxiety. She had always been your role model, but now she was also your teammate.

As the whistle blew Aitana gave you a reassuring smile and ran off to warm up. After warms up you had your moment to showcase your skill in a small 5-aside game Aitana being on your team.

Mapí stood with her foot on the ball “Let’s see what you’ve got then” sending you a win and sticking her tongue out at you jokingly. You quickly seized the ball from her leaving her in shock as everyone scrambled to defend you. You began to dribble the ball around players pushing yourself to keep possession to show them you belong. Aitana matched your pace effortlessly her movements graceful and swift. You could feel her gaze on you waiting for you to pass the ball and trick the defenders. She knew your movements just as much as you did.

You executed a beautiful pass back to Aitana just as Ona comes into steal the ball before receiving a skilful flick from Aitana leaving you one-on-one with the Cata. The significance of the moment weighed heavily upon you, yet the pressure did not consume you. Taking a deep breath, you kick the ball executing it with perfect timing just as you had seen Aitana do so many times. Watching the ball sail into the net with a satisfying thud.

The whole team went silent standing in various states of shock as Aitana shouted with joy “That’s how we do it” she screamed while she ran and lifted you off the ground her excitement mirroring your own.

“Thank you for the assist,” you chuckled laughing at her excitement, a smile taking over your face. Looking around you could see the players and staff watching you with soft smiles and also shock.

Aitana returned your smile as she set you down on the ground holding your face in her hands “You have always possessed the talent bebita, it was just a case of you finding your confidence and believing in yourself. Now you’ve found that you’ll be unstoppable. I believe in you.” You found yourself choking back some tears. This is all you had ever wanted was to follow in her footsteps and make her proud.

As training drew to a close and the sun began to set casting an array of colours across the sky. The realisation dawned upon you that you were no longer just Aitana’s little sister and never had been. You were Y/N Bonmatí a player and a person in your own right and nothing could diminish that.

“Let’s do this again tomorrow” Aitana joked, nudging you and throwing her arm around you as you walked off the field together side by side.

In that moment, you realised that regardless of what football may lead to in your life, the bond you shared with your sister on and off the pitch was indestructible.

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Thank you so much for taking the time to read my first ever fic. I hope you enjoyed it, and if you have any requests or even just some tips or feedback, I'd be happy to hear them.

[chaostudee]

our little secret, liam lawson.

summary : y/n y/ln is liam's secret girlfriend and when she learns she is pregnant she decides to make a private insta to document her pregnancy. it isn't until their daughter arrives that liam introduces her to the world. faceclaim : zara goedemans warnings : language, pregnancy. a/n : ik alot of people do not like liam at all so i was scared to post this....but to those who do like and appreciate him this is for you 🫶

liamlawson so glad to be back on the grid again

liked by maxverstappen, yukitusonda, francocoplainto and 828,442 others.

user728 daniel should have never been replaced like this

f1fan this sport is a joke

user828 so happy for you well deserved !!

f1lover yessss finally we missed you smmm

justaninchident give him that red bull seat !!

f1girl NO YUKI

user90 christian horner i will never like you

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y/nusername 🧸

liked by alexandrasaintmleux, kikagomes, liamlawson and 126,829 others.

alexandrasaintmleux i love uuuu

kikagomes your hair omggg girl i'm so jelly tell me your secrets plssss

user62 who is that in the first pic 🤔

username12 imagine having a facecard this strongg

f1fan y/n is the queen on insta because every time she always manages to make her posts aesthetic

y/nusername omggg tyyy 💞

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messages between alexandra and y/n

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y/npriv. made this acc to document my pregnancy journey solely for the most important people in my life, i love you all

liked by liamlawson, yourbff, yourmum, alexandrasaintmleux and 431 others.

liamlawson a bit of credit for the photos would be nice 😒

yourbff im so excited for you, you were meant to be a mummy

y/npriv. stopp ilyy

alexandrasaintmleux you are acc the cutest and i can't wait for little one to arrive

yourmum i'm so proud of you my sweet girl 💗

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y/npriv had cravings again 🙃

liked by liamlawson, yourbff, yourdad and 262 others.

liamlawson i wish i was there to help baby im sry :,(

y/nusername just hurry up and come homeee i miss you

yourbff so so pretty my lord

yourbff and y/n im always here if u need my help literally just ask 🙄

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y/npriv first gp and i loved it :)

liked by liamlawson, yourbff, yourmum and 320 others.

yourbff the pregnancy glow 😍

liamlawson my angel girl

liamlawson im so grateful for you

liamlawson the first of many gps btw ;)

yourmum my gorgeous daughter ❤️

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y/nusername i love ice cream

liked by kikagomes, alexandrasaintmleux, liamlawson and 362,992 others.

user56 liam in the likes whattt

user11 he follows her what do u expect

kikagomes i aspire to be you

user45 your aesthetic is so pretty oml

user12 omgg y/n pls start a youtube channel i beg

f1fan i wish i was this pretty

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

y/npriv. baby shower

liked by yourbff, liamlawson, yourmum, alexandrasaintmleux and 407 others.

yourmum my beautiful daughter 🫶

yourbff hope you liked it (i planned it for months)

y/npriv. i loved it!!! i acc lysmmm

liamlawson you're perfect baby

liamlawson how did i get so lucky

alexandrasaintmleux pink is defo your colour

alexandrasaintmleux i can't waitt to meet her 💗

y/nusername

liked by liamlawson, carmenmundtt, kikagomes and 542,927 others.

user73 flowers from who?!?

carmenmundt so happy for you <333

user72 her smile omg im obsessed

username222 awww she looks so happy

username90 girl we know you got a man show us plssss

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

liamlawson the last few weeks

liked by yukisunoda, alexalbon, maxverstappen and 251,639 others.

user67 not liam and y/n both soft launching in the space of an hour.....a coincidence, i think not.

f1fan no.1 lightning mcqueen fan

user23 liam defender forever i fear

user00 i am speed

f1girl soft launch...okay liam i see u 🤭

justaninchident okay im the biggest danny ric fan but honestly how can u hate on liam he is so cutesy

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༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

liamlawsonfan liam's stream last night!!

liked by f1girl, justaninchident, f1fan and 127,928 others.

user72 at this moment he knew....he fucked up

user782 WAIT SO HE 100 PERCENT HAS A GF

f1fan okay has anyone been on twitter because now everyone thinks that y/n is pregnant?!?! wild.

user62 i wouldn't believ any of it tbh

user00 plsss it was so funny and the way he just carried on right after like nothing happened

f1lover f1 twitter can be so crazy at times because wdym people are saying that liam is going to be a father 💀

f1 BREAKING NEWS

liked by f1fan, f1girl, justaninchident and 237,921 others.

user72 WHY

username56 so strange that they didn't say why??

f1fan okay excuse me CAUSE WHAT

user89 waittt who's going to replace him

justaninchident 👀

user99 *sighs*

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

y/nusername mummy loves u sm

liked by liamlawson, alexandrasaintmleux, lilymunihe and 1,628,926 others.

user HOLD ON WHAT?!?

username girl u have some explaining to do

alexandrasaintmleux she's gorgeous y/n you must be so proud 💗

lilymunihe im sobbing acc

user829 is it liam's?!?!

f1fan congrats y/n !!

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

liamlawson i love u sm my sweet girl

liked by y/nusername, maxverstappen, oscarpiastri and 9,620,625 others.

user72 WTF

username WAIT IS THIS LIAM HARD LAUNCHING HIS DAUGHTER

f1fan im so confused rn

user12 huh?!

f1lover chattt what is going on

maxverstappen congrats mate and congrats to y/n aswell

user88 damn ig f1 twitter was right for once

user99 and before gta 6 💀

taglist⭑.ᐟ

@lottalove4evelyn @sweetestgirlintown111 @mxryxmfooty @hadidsworld @llando4norris @heavy-vettel @seonghwaexile @love2readd @nichmeddar @depressedriches

[genderqueerdykes]

the post you just shared about being both a trans man and a dyke reminded me of something that ive been wanting to talk about for a while now but haven't been able to so far.

im brazilian. the country with one of the biggest pride parades in the world while also being in the highest rates of violence towards lgbt people. queer culture here is weird, and maybe i missed out on it because i was able to find refuge online among the english speaking community relatively early.

ive been observing something that i wrongly assumed was our own version of the butch/femme community, and for a second i got really excited bc we all know butch loneliness, but the more i started looking into it, the more of its completely rotten entrails they showed me.

it's a disfigurement of the ideas that i have held to my heart so dearly ever since i read stone butch blues for the first time, and even more as i discovered leslie feinberg, and found out that there really were others like me. they use the term "desfem" (as in "defeminized"), and the definition explicitly states that the individual must be a cis woman, quoting some terf-tier bullshit that would make joanne proud.

hating men is their entire personality, and it's so shallow and based on cishet gender roles that there is no "femme" counterpart, because they see no way to perform femininity outside of patriarchal roles. they want the aesthetics of butchness without the hardships of living as one. the trans community carries these people on their backs and still they're more worried about how some dykes are trans too.

i don't know where im going with this, i just need to get it off my chest to someone who would at least have an idea of what im talking about. it's so disheartening to see the community head towards this direction, and i grow less and less interested in forming bridges with cis people as time goes on lol

i wanted to thank you for taking the time to send it, i really appreciate these thoughts! i get contacted by a lot of brazilian people. i think that's super cool! i've heard that despite how large your queer scene is that it's still very queerphobic and that's unfortunate, but it does happen.

"hating men is their entire personality, and it's so shallow and based on cishet gender roles that there is no "femme" counterpart, because they see no way to perform femininity outside of patriarchal roles."

i really appreciate the way you said this! i've been trying to point this out for a while now and i'm glad you've come to this realization, yourself.

for whatever reason, cis lesbian, dyke and sapphic spaces are obsessed with the butch-femme binary. it's romanced to hell and back but it's very restrictive and patriarchal. implying that romantic relationships must fall into a masculine partner + feminine partner structure is cisheteromative. there's not much representation for butch4butch, butch4all, femme4femme and femme4all people. the idea that the masculine partner must be strong and protect the weak feminine partner that can't defend themselves is a patriarchal dynamic.

all of the lesbian yearning posts are about how butches are tops and doms and how all femmes are bottoms and subs. butch becomes synonymous with penis and femme becomes synonymous with vagina. calling butches 'chivalrous knights' dehumanizes them and reduces them to being protector figures. the way cis femmes online go on and on and on about how they "need" a butch is very alarming. femmes are being framed as dependent and as though they can't function unless they have a butch in their life, which is very misogynistic.

it's just a repeat of cishet- the patriarchal relationship formatting applies here, even if the genders are slightly tweaked. it's in the coding. it's literally a copy and paste job. it's lazy and toxic as hell and it leaves out all of the diversity that comes with lesbianism and how butches and femmes can experience life and love and sexuality in a variety of ways.

the thing is, as a genderqueer person, i've never understood why people are so attached to this binary. it's so restrictive. i'm butch, but not in the way that white cis lesbians define it. the way they tlel you how to be butch is so restrictive it's not even funny. it's like you gotta pass a test. you gotta be stereotypically masculine 100% of the time or else you're not a real butch. you're expected to emulate a cishet guy, but if you identify as a guy, all hell breaks loose. if you think about it people basically force butches to identify as men and then hold it at arm's reach away. like you have to act exactly like a man but be a Woman. and it makes no fucking sense.

lesbians are some of the most gender diverse people out there. it's crazy to me that people are trying to force lesbians, people who are known for being gender weird, into a male-female cishet binary but with a lesbian Womyn coat of paint. i wish you better luck in finding community that wants to stick together instead of fight over petty bullshit that doesn't matter. take care of yourself. feel free to stop by again any time

[havin-fun-imagining-twd]

It felt so real.

What - Yearning. Daryl misses you and your family so badly that it seems his imagination is dreaming you up to keep him from going crazy

When - big time jump to when Daryl finds himself in France (spinoff season 1, episode 2)

Where - the school in France

Pronouns - she/her (howdy, wife reader!)

TWs - language, reference to child loss, self-loathing, sappiness (it's fanfiction, y'all XD ) and Daryl gets a little...'excited' (mild instance of sexual arousal between a married couple)

Perspective - Daryl 3rd person POV

References - some are yet unpublished because this is a significant time skip, which means a few little surprises. Others can be found throughout the series!

Series? - the Slowpoke Series! It's a fun, slow time that sticks to canon to help maintain immersion (as much as you can with adding an oc lol) ;)

Can I read this chapter if I haven't started any part of the Slowpoke Series yet? - definitely

----------------------------

----------------------------

“It's so good to hold you again, sugar.”

Those words, that voice, made him relax into the bed. She was there again! He’d last imagined her when he was being tended to by those nuns, so it was only, what, a handful of days ago?

Wasn’t enough for him, he missed her so much.

“Dare, I want them all. Full stop, every last one.”

He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “I knew you’d say that.”

“As if you aren’t wantin’ to take at least a handful. All those kids with just an old woman to care for them…well, now she’s dead, but…” She sighed and held him tighter. “Lou reminds me of Enid. Don’t you think they look similar? M’sorry her name had to be Lou. A lot of things over here are making you homesick, ain’t they? And that poor boy in Maine, named TJ, too.”

He pulled her closer, doing his best to not wake himself up so Y/N would stay with him. He wished that kid, with same name as his oldest, has just gone back to his girlfriend like he'd told him to.

“Our own Louise lights a candle with me for you every day. Those nuns would be proud.”

He swore to himself that whenever these dreams happen, there’s got to be some way it isn’t just all in his head. It was way too real.

It felt so, so real.

But that Louise was lighting candles for him, he knew because Carol told him when she spoke to him briefly over the radio in Maine...

“Did Carol also mention that Lydia’s been drawing you? Or did I write part that in the letter?”

“The letter. Carol and I didn't have much time to say anything.” Y/N wrote him a long, long letter. One part mentioned how both Lydia and Glenn took to getting nightmares again after he left. At Maggie’s suggestion, Lydia had been drawing his picture. Apparently it helps her feel safer.

RJ had been 'retreating more than usual,' also. Adam was acting out, too, so she wrote. If Daryl was figuring it right, the boys losing another father figure probably hadn’t helped.

“Dare, he’s three. Three-year-olds don’t only act out with foster parents, Adam would be doin’ the same with Alden. And RJ is without Michonne right now. That's the greater culprit.”

His wife also wrote how Coco just started calling her ‘mama,’ and correcting her to say ‘auntie’ wasn’t working yet. She chalked it up to her being a motherly figure and the baby assuming all caring ladies were ‘mama.’ He wondered if Gabe knew yet. Ain’t like Y/N hasn’t been a mama to that little girl since Rosita died. Actually, nah, Gabe obviously knew; Y/N would’ve (legit) run to him immediately and told him what was up.

The faces of all their kids ran through his mind over and over, Lydia and Judith and RJ included. Then his wife’s face. Carl. Adam. Hershel. Gracie. Coco. Carol. Ezekiel. Maggie. Rosita. Aaron. Jesus. Jerry. Rick. Merle. T-Dog.

“Oo, I want to be here when T-Dog visits. Has he ever visited?” Y/N chirped.

He wished. “Once. I just think about him a lot.”

“Bummer. He must have been so thrilled when we actually did name our first after him, without you even tellin’ me nothing about how he’d teased you on it! Say, what about Uncle Jesse? Does he visit? He must’ve been happy TJ’s middle name is for him!”

He shook his head. You even visited me before I was smart enough to fall for you. When I fell down the ridge. It was you and Merle.

A sneezing from one of the kids in another part of the building resounded four times. It woke him briefly.

He closed his eyes, focused…

It was okay, Y/N was there. Daryl breathed a sigh of relief.

“I am a mite surprised you didn’t take the floor anyway,” Y/N admitted, peeking over his side to look at where the nun Isabelle was laying down next to him. “Or share with Laurent so the two sisters could share.”

“Neither of them trust me enough for me to share a room with the boy. And she sounded like she didn’t want me on the floor. Must be that I’m gettin’ too old." All I feel these days is tired and sore. "Hell, I don’t think I could get up if I slept on the floor.”

Angel, I ain’t the same without you, I’m a fucking mess. Look at the shit show that I’ve made of things.

His wife whispered, “Hey. You know I can hear that, I’m from your imagination.”

“Y/N, I miss you so fucking much.” Baby, I’m so goddamned far from you all and I don’t know how I’m gonna get out this time.

“No cusses in front of the kids, Daryl,” She cupped her belly, the one he was imagining she might have again. Carol, when she spoke to him, used what little time there was to mention how Y/N was avoiding taking a test because she missed him too much. Y/N didn’t say nothing about it in her letter she'd packed in there during one of his home visits.

How’s that for a reason to hate yourself?

“You should,” shot back another familiar voice. “Leaving your own kin, leaving your woman. Ain’t you learned nothing, boy? Didn’t think you was that much of a deadbeat but here’s proof the apple didn’t fall far from the tree."

Merle.

Damn, it’d been ages!

"Yup. Nanu nanu," his brother mocked, waving his metal stump and glaring. "Here you are, in the white flag capital of the world, surrounded by Euro kooks instead of your own blood.”

“Oh, Daryl, don’t imagine him as cruel again!" Y/N cooed. "Let us both love you if you’re gonna go about having us here.”

Daryl breathed slowly so he wouldn’t wake up. When he felt level enough, he answered, “I don’t have much control over what y’all say.”

“I thought you had some control over it.” Y/N gently pushed his hair off his face. He loved it when she did that. Delicately, she examined the new scar gracing his forehead.

“I blame that old coot what you let whup you on the head as to why you’re seeing things,” his brother crooned.

His wife nodded. “Another concussion, you poor man. But this isn’t a hallucination, it’s just a dream. It’s that good kind of dream where you’re not fully awake but not fully asleep.” She trailed her hand along his forearm.

“Y/N, you’re too good for this sad sack.”

She fired back faster than Daryl knew his imagination could go. “Merle. You love your brother to death and you’re happy he got hisself a wife and family.” Y/N had pushed herself up to sitting in order to scold him. “Tell me you don’t swell with pride seein’ him be a good father and good husband. The cycle stopped with him, and you’re proud of it.”

Daryl, a hand protectively around his wife’s side, was busy trying to figure out what Merle was even doing, whittling?

Ah, he was eating an peach with the knife attached to his metal stump.

Weird, he thought ghosts didn’t eat.

“Maybe I ain’t a real ghost, retard,” was a blunt comeback. “Maybe I’m just a poor copy you conjured up in that concussed little head of yours.” Merle then turned to Y/N. “As for you, kitten, he left you and your brats! Left you when you was up the duff, left you when you don’t even got all your legs no more! How’s he supposed to protect you when he’s out here?”

“Merle William Dixon! I ain’t ‘kitten’ and those ‘brats’ are your nieces and nephews, dick. Noah’s middle name is even for you, so you best watch your mouth, hear?”

Merle smirked and sliced off another wedge from the peach. “There’s my sister-in-law. I had to make sure your square self at least still had that fire in ya.” He offered her a slice, but she crossed her arms.

The expression on her face was so disappointed it made Daryl’s chest tug.

His brother duly inclined his head in apology and raised his hands in surrender. “You’re right, ma’am. Y’all are doing a good job on them brats. And this sumbitch ain’t nothing like our old man, so there’s something.” Merle chopped another piece of fruit. “And it’s always a pleasure to roll with a fellow amputee, Y/N. Not many can relate to how trippy the phantom limb bullshit can get.”

She tilted her head in agreement, rubbed the spot above her prosthetic calf, and settled back down next to her husband with a big sigh. “I do wish Daryl imagined you in a kinder light, Merle, but, either way, I’m happy he watched Mork & Mindy because it got him thinkin’ about you — and now you’re here for him!” Her hand grazed along her bump. “And, you meant to say to him that I was possibly pregnant.”

“Dunno about that, sister, you’ve always seem to know when you been knocked up.”

“That ain’t incorrect,” she confessed, curling in on herself. “Even if I was, it’s possible we had a loss again, Merle. Whether early or late this time.”

“Another reason he shouldn’t be screwin’ around out here.” Merle next words sliced him as if his heart were the peach in his hands. “I'm angry for your own good, lady. What if you had to handle another kid dying, this time on your own?”

The bad memories crashed down like waves threatening to drown him in grief and guilt. He wanted to pummel his brother in the hopes Merle would best him and make him pay for leaving her.

But Merle wasn't actually there. Neither was Y/N. It was pretend. Daryl was just beating himself up in his head, and failing even at that.

Y/N said the words as Daryl thought them: “Why are you twisting the knife?” She swallowed and covered her face with her hands. “Maybe, this mission is w-worth the sacrifice of, of us not havin’ him here right now.”

No. It’s not.

I know you said that before I left to make it hurt less, but it’s not. Listen to your stutter, you know it ain’t.

I should be back there with you, not constantly leaving for weeks at a time. I'm supposed to be home now. I'd told Carol when I reached her on the radio back in Maine that I'd be there in a about a week, which is what she would've told you. This whole thing is horseshit!

“Darlin’, think on happier things or you’ll upset yourself awake or into another nightmare,” Y/N soothed. "You almost woke from anger at Merle just there, which is really just anger at yourself." Her fingers laced into his where his hand rested on her belly. His wish was that his dream would include feeling the baby move. He loved that feeling. Except, he must’ve been waking up because his dream wasn’t letting him feel her hand or her belly very much when he tried. Still, it felt real enough. He’d take what he could get.

“Might could be fun to think back on how beautiful it was making them, if indeed we made another one.” She walked two fingers along his bicep. “Would’ve happened on or around the last night before you left. Or,” she mused, then started to giggle. At that moment, he could even imagine the vibrations of her laughter as if she were really, actually laying beside him. It felt so real! “I wouldn’t be surprised if made them on the day itself, that was soo — oh man, hold up!” She pulled away from him and eyed his crotch in suspicion. “No sex dreams allowed, there’s a bride of Christ in the room! Keep that thing down, deal?”

He almost laughed out loud, and possibly in real life. So long as he didn’t wake up, he didn’t care if he laughed in his sleep. The reactions, the tone, it was all just like his Y/N. And he could hope they had another kid. He’d take as many as came along.

Aw, shit, how far would she even be along, if this one made it? How long had he been away?

“Goddamn, y’all, is this some kinda kink you got?” Merle cut in. “Me and the penguin are still here, you perverts.”

“Oh hush, neither of us are actually here. Him and me aren’t doing nothin’, he just got a little aroused,” Y/N countered. “And to answer your question about another baby, Daryl, I reckon you’ll find out when you come back.” She shrugged. “Unless you reach us on a radio? Eugene is diligent about it, especially now.”

That was another thing she wrote in her letter. Eugene and his radio.

The helplessness crashed back down on him. “I’m tryin’ babe.” He didn’t want to start crying. The nun was next to him and he didn’t know if he’d be able to stop crying once he started.

Merle jeered, “Try harder, Darylina.”

He was right, Daryl needed to. He needed to try harder! What kind of washed out fuck-up was he?

“Sweetheart,” his wife called softly. Her hand caressed his cheek. It felt so, so real. “Margaret — a woman who knows the pain of losing a husband — trusted this to you because you survive. And I trusted you to go, because you’ve got the brains, the balls, and the grit. You don’t die or get bit, Daryl, no. You always come home.”

Bullshit. Not this time.

“Not bullshit. Yes, this time.” She looked to the window. “Merle, back me up.”

“Based on your track record, she’s right, little brother.”

“You may not believe you can or will,” she lifted herself up on her hands and leaned forward to kiss him. It had to have been real. It felt so, so real. But he was not about to open his eyes to see if by some miracle it was. “Despite how you feel right now, my vote is you will get that happy ending. It ain’t coincidence that Laurent said so just like our Judith did! How’s that for a reason to hope?”

Shit, he was about to break down. “Y/N, maybe I don’t deserve that. You saw the shit-show what got me here.” And there came the tears. “I left you, that’s all there is to this. I don’t deserve you.”

“Oh, that word.” Y/N wasn’t a fan of the word ‘deserve.’ “On that topic, what an honest prayer you said to bless the food! So many times you used ‘deserve,’ ugh, but,” she paused, “God loves honesty like that. Very, very much.”

She kissed his eyelids where the tears were starting to slip out, kissed the scar that never seemed to fade, then settled back against the side of his chest and curled one leg around him. With her hand, she rubbed comforting circles along his torso. “And He don’t punish or withhold, that’s just our fallen world. His hand is always out for you,” she murmured. “Say, how long do you think you can keep up with imaginin’ my theology?”

“Angel, I’m already at my limit. That’s why part of me thinks you’ve gotta be here somehow, some parts of this feel so real. Smart stuff like this ain’t in my head.”

“TJ and Georgia would call out your self-hate if they could hear you. You’d owe them a lot of quarters. Hm, and euros, seeing as you're here.”

His chest tugged at their names. “How are they?”

TJ, their oldest besides Lydia, had long hair like the little French kid here. Just one other thing that ripped at Daryl’s heartstrings to make him ache so bad for home it shocked him that he wasn’t bleeding out.

“They’re as good as gold and better. Just like their father.” That phrase he knew was from his memory because she’d said it before. “All of us miss you like crazy. Postal level.”

You shouldn’t.

“Daryl.” Her hand gripped his. There’s no way it wasn’t real. It felt so real. “When I was broken after Carl's death, and I claimed the same stuff — that you should leave me and TJ, that you needed someone better, that your life would be better if we weren’t a part of it — how much did it rip you up? ’Cause even if I hadn’t told you this before, you would have to understand how it’s tearing my insides to shreds hearin’ you think the same.”

Calm. He had to stay calm or he’d be alone again.

“I’m right,” he whispered.

“I have to disagree.”

“I —” his voice went up. He switched tactics and spoke to his brother. “Merle, talk some sense into her. I failed. This is it, this is—”

“—You did screw shit up like a royal turd, but your lady would rip my danglers off if I went along with your pretty little pity party.”

Believe it or not, the tough love helped. Felt genuine, as if Merle really was shouting some sense into him. It felt so real.

He caught his wife giving Merle an air high-five. “Thank you, Merle.”

In hindsight, Daryl figured it must’ve be because Merle, in Daryl’s imagination, had to raise his metal arm to return the five. He taunted Y/N, “You’re welcome, peg-leg.”

Dream or not, Daryl was fixing to bark, but his wife playfully kicked her own prosthetic and taunted back, “Love you, gimpy.”

His brother was smug. “Square.”

As if Y/N hadn’t heard that before.“Trailer trash.”

As if Merle hadn’t heard that before. “Goody-two shoes.”

“Two shoes? Ahem,” Y/N drawled as prim and proper as a southern belle. “Did we not just establish how I only require but one shoe these days?”

Merle slapped his thigh and cackled like a hyena and Daryl couldn’t help but do the same. Y/N joked about her missing calf like she got paid for it, pirate jokes to no end.

Daryl hadn’t felt this light in months, not even close to it since leaving home.

…And to think, it was all a lie.

All fake.

They weren’t really there. Not his wife, not his dead brother. It was all in his head.

“Oh, my sweet mangy hick. Enough moping and angst, enjoy the moment! Merle and I really did a fair job on our banter just there. And you never know, Merle could really be here, seein’ as he’s dead.”

“Y/N, I even miss bickering with ya, goddamn,” he breathed.

“It is one of our love languages. That reminds me — you’re doing great with the French, Dare!”

She can’t be serious. Or, rather, he himself can’t be serious. “Babe, I ain’t spoken a word of it. The letters don’t matter half the time. I swear, these people sound drunk.”

Merle snickered, “Hell, even I speak better French than him. Voulez vous coucher av—”

“—Well, I meant like when you used the dictionary to translate that conjugated verb.” Her voice had gone down when she said this and it sounded, well…how it usually sounded when she was turned on. “If I were there, the part where I’d push your suspenders off your shoulders would drive me wild…”

Stay calm or you’ll wake up, Daryl.

And you realllly don’t want to start a sex dream with some other chick in the room. A nun!

“Get a room, horndogs. The word was ‘conjugated,’ not ‘conjugal,’” Merle spat. “This is why you got all them kids.”

His wife made one of her signature huffs, but didn’t say nothing back to Merle. Into Daryl’s ear, she sympathized, “Being horny is so annoyin’.”

Ha. Blushing even in his dreams. Part of him wondered if he was cracking up in his sleep, too, but either way, it felt good. Felt real. It felt so, so real. “I don’t even know what ‘conjugated’ means, Y/N.”

“Yes you do, otherwise I wouldn’t say it. I’m a figment of your imagination, remember?” Aw man, why’d she have to nuzzle him in the crook of his neck? He loved it when she did that. Mmm, hot damn it felt so real… “And you know that you doin’ something like conjugating a verb in another language would be sexy to me.”

“I told y’all jackrabbits to keep your britches on. Now, Daryl: ‘conjugate’ is when you make the verb agree grammatically with the subject. You’ve heard that word before,” Merle explained. Seemed out of character. And the room looked strange, there was—it was another room now?

Daryl’s thoughts turned to when Y/N and Rosita would speak Spanish. Listening as Judith helped TJ and RJ with phonics. Watching Georgia sing to baby Louise that song Siddiq had taught her in, what language was it?

“Hey. Dummy,” Merle scoffed. “You’re driftin’ off, sweet boy. Gotta stay a teensy bit lucid if you want us here.”

So that’s why the room had just looked different. He’d been slipping.

“I still don’t get how this happens, which is why I think you’re actually here,” Daryl said to both of them. “Merle, you’re probably in…somewhere in-between.”

“What, I don’t get to be in heaven yet? Y/N, you hearin’ this uppity sumbitch?”

“He still has trouble believing in such things, Merle, especially lately. I prayed for your soul, so I got hope.”

“Thank you, sister.”

“Anytime.” Y/N looked up at Daryl and smiled. “Then what about me, dude? I ain’t dead, pinky promise. So, how is it that I come to be here?”

Yeah, he’ll be as sappy as he wants with his wife of ten years. “Maybe you’re dreamin’ about me, too.”

Merle’s kissy noises were interrupted by Daryl firmly telling him to get out after which Y/N smooched him harder than she’d had in his imagination since he’d left America. The smell of her, the sounds she made, the way she would lift her head so he could bury his face in her neck, it all felt so real.

It was when she ran her hand lower down his abdomen and almost reached his you-know-what that it all stopped cold. “Sorry! Aw, shoot — Merle! Get back in here, quick, we got carried away! Well, t-technically it was all you, Dare, but — just, please don’t get a stiffy with a nun in the room!”

“Someone should put that on a shirt,” his brother called.

“Ew, no, Merle! Good Moses, maybe I really should ought to be there if you’re startin’ to imagine messed up t-shirt slogans.” She was only teasing. “Ooh, but if I were really there I could meet little Sister Sylvie! So far, I like her.”

“I knew you would.” Daryl grinned. “The way she is with the boy, she reminds me of you.”

If only you were really here, angel.

Wait, no, I don’t want you here because you wouldn’t be safe. I need you safe.

She brought his hand to her lips. “I know what you meant, sugar.”

Unexpectedly, the nun shifted on the bed, nearly jolting him fully awake.

Slow breaths. Keep your eyes shut, do not open them!

He kept them shut tight and pictured where Y/N had been to try and keep her there.

“What am I, chopped pig’s feet?” Merle grunted.

Daryl relaxed. Merle was still there, and he got back the feeling of Y/N beside him.

“You know,” his wife considered. While she was still there, he was having trouble visualizing her. Was he still close to waking up? “That Sister Isabelle is willin’ to risk sharing a room with a strange American says a lot about how much she’ll give to protect the boy and the others here.”

“Still damn weird she didn’t just share a room, the three of ’em.”

“It is. It’s really weird.” Y/N rested her forehead on his chest. He felt the warmth of her breathing against him. If he focused really hard, he could just about imagine the feel her heartbeat, too. “Maybe she’s fixing to be the first line of defense, with all them other kids livin’ here.”

“Still weird,” he grunted. “Hey, where’d my—” He looked around in his imagination at the room. “Where’d my brother go?”

“Maybe he wanted another peach. Or, maybe you're too close to wakin’ up. Be careful, darling.”

He breathed slowly and kept his eyes locked shut. His frustration was growing. It had felt so real, why was it going away?

Calm. Stay calm so she’ll stay.

“It was also unusual,” Y/N thought, “how Sister Izzy—”

“—Sister Izzy?”

He imagined that her mouth would have twisted in embarrassment. “Yes, I’d probably definitely give her that nickname. You sure know how to portray me realistically.” She started again, “It’s unusual how she didn’t accommodate for your maybe-not-wantin’-to-be-seen-in-the-tub-by-a-nun. By anyone, for that matter. Although,” she reconsidered, “they were nurses who had to change your undies and cauterize your wound, weren’t they?” When he pictured her bottom lip beginning to tremble, he held her closer. “Oh, I hate that they all died but for two! What has this world come to? Why would those men kill them?”

That was something.

The dream got easier to maintain. He felt the curve of her waist. The rise and fall of her chest. It felt real again. It felt so, so real.

Relieved, he didn’t know what to say at first other than, “The water was cloudy enough.” When he was getting treated, bathed, doctored, how hard he wished it was Y/N doing it. Another thing that made him ache, watching them nuns give him medical attention when for the past 12 years it’d almost always been his wife.

He breathed out heavily. “Dunno, when she was in there, it wasn’t too uncomfortable.”

“The habit can have that effect on some. The crucifixes and religious artworks hopefully brought some peace, too.”

“Habit?”

“Nun outfit.”

He tried to hold her even tighter. The way it felt more real than before encouraged him, got him nearly falling off his seat with excitement that he got her back!

Except, the excitement turned into panic that he might lose this moment because he was so happy, as fake as it was.

And it sent him over the edge. Just like that, he was awake. Very awake. And alone. No Y/N, no Merle.

He blinked as the room came into focus.

None of it was real. He’d, he'd known that.

And now he was awake. Lying on some flat, shitty, tiny bed, an ocean away, in a country full of people he didn’t understand, that had walkers who burned you when they touched you, and soldiers who shot up a convent full of nuns who patched up strangers and were only trying to keep a little boy safe.

He didn’t even have his ring anymore. All he had was a snippet on a voice recorder that told the world his name and how badly he'd fucked up.

Daryl turned onto his side, the pain from his burned arm screaming at him, but he didn’t give one flying fuck. Y/N wasn’t there anymore because his stupid ass had woken up! He’d earned the pain, he needed it, he deserved it.

Quietly, he thought to hell with it and let himself weep. He was so fucking done with all this bullshit.

He wanted Y/N back. He wanted his kids back. The fuck kind of brainless jackass was he, leaving them for so long, so much? And for what?

To "see what's out there?"

As if he'd find people who had a cure?

To bring Rick and Mich home? If Rick is even alive, if Michonne is alive.

To transport some creepy French boy to a group of weirdos grasping at the hope of some imaginary friend in the sky who damns them if they don’t do all the rules in the world that He’d let go to shit as a punishment or test?

Really, was Daryl that much of a guilt-ridden jerk-off to still say yes to whatever Maggie asks him to do? It’s a hopeless fu—

“Daryl, I love you so much. Please don’t blaspheme.”

“Y/N?” I thought you was gone. No, you were gone, I woke up! “You’re back?” Holy shit, thank you. Thank you! Thank you, Whoever's up there.

That small, shy smile melted all the ice he’d just had in his heart. “Try not to wake all the way again?”

He didn’t waste any more time blubbering like an idiot, he reached for her and held on. It was still a dream, so he had to be careful to not get too excited or do anything too stimulating. And, don’t worry, he wasn’t about to willingly get a hard-on when there was a nun next to him.

He just needed to have Y/N in his arms again so he could make it through the next 5 minutes without going insane!

For 12 years, she’d been there, loving him in one way or another. For 10 years they’d been husband and wife. Without her, without their kids there, in that strange, foreign place, he was losing himself so quick it brought him to his knees with shame.

Her lips pulled away for a moment. “I wouldn’t agree that you’re losing yourself. I watched Shaney lose himself, it looked different. Daryl, I’m serious,” she insisted. “Listen: did you not save that dad and daughter even after they robbed you?”

Big whoop. “You know what those guerrilla shits would’ve done to her." The same thing that got done to you. "And those assholes would prolly have made the old man watch and killed me regardless.”

“Yeah, but you also went back to try and save that gaggle of nuns from those jar-head pieces of shit, that’s got to count for somethin’.” Wait, that was Merle’s voice. He was back, too?

Daryl looked over at the window to see his brother there once more. Merle winked. “My baby brother, the hero. Stay zen if you’re fixing to keep us here, now. Keep hittin’ that sweet spot between dreamland and the real world.”

Y/N beamed at Merle before turning back to Daryl. “And did you not help those children get the medicine, Dare? Heck, now they got access to that whole castle full of supplies and it’s so much more secure. Um, m-minus the moat full of dead ones.”

“I lied to those kids out my ass, Y/N. Lied and didn’t give a damn.”

“And you ensured none of them got hurt, then promptly admitted the lie with what I’d call purity of heart.”

“I cut that boy’s mule loose without a second thought. You see that? He loved that thing.”

“Better than to have failed to back up the cart in time, which would have happened and would have gotten all five of y’all eaten. And it was almost fast enough to escape by the looks of it. One dead mule to the benefit of four living souls is a good outcome.”

“What’d my sister-in-law say earlier?” Merle asked. “Brains, balls, and grit? Not to sound all mushy gushy, but she’s right.”

The memories of falling into that moat of walkers seized him, made him start to panic again. No brains, no balls, he almost died right in there—

“—Baby, shh,” Y/N hushed. Her arms tightly wrapped around him the way she would when his nightmares hit bad. “You survived. No bites. No burns. Not even a broken bone, I don’t know how you managed it again.” Her lips, her chest, her hands pressed against him. It felt so, so real. “But you always seem to.” She kissed him. “You’ve got brains.” Another kiss. “Balls.” A deeper kiss. “And grit. And you’re alive, sweetheart. There’s always hope as long as your heart is still beating.”

“How will I get out of this?”

“You’ll find a way,” she said with confidence. “You simply don’t know what the way is yet.”

“What do I do about the nuns?”

“Help them keep Laurent safe, of course — if you choose to do so.”

I don’t want to.

“You don’t have to,” she assured him.

I want to go home.

“And you will,” she assured him once again.

I don’t want to help them. I don’t want to. I don’t fucking want to!

…God damn it. “But I should.”

“You ain’t obligated,” Y/N responded, but with hesitation that time. “It is up to you.”

Merle was the one to point out, “It’s that conscience of yours, kid. Sometimes you just can’t help but help. I’ve been watchin’ you these past, what is it, 11 years since I got my crusty white ass killed?” He chuckled to himself as he shaved off the final bit of peach before flicking the pit away. “Can’t be too mad at it when it roped you a fine piece of ass to squeeze at night and how many kids because of it?”

“Merle,” Y/N warned.

Daryl could feel his anger rising.

“What, ain’t you relieved I can’t call you ‘sweet little virgin’ no more, son?” Merle kept egging on.

“Daryl, this isn’t really him. Don’t get angry or we’ll both disapp—”

“—So, my thinking is, Daryl, that you just won’t be able to help yourself from bringing that little sissy boy to them nutjobs —”

“Shut up!” Daryl burst out — and opened his eyes in real time. Again? Is he that much of an idiot?

His pulse was pounding. Dread and self-loathing flooded his mind, how stupid could he be?

Immediately, he squeezed his eyes shut in a desperate hope to get his wife and brother back. He focused, focused, focused, prayed, pretended, focused…

“Daryl,” came her voice.

He could hear Y/N, but not see her. It was clear that it was all him forcing the memory of her voice back. It was all in his head.

“Why bother caring that it’s in your head, sugar? Breathe slowly and focus on the feel of my body against yours. I don’t wanna leave you."

“Y/N, I need to get back,” he panted. “I can use their help to do that. Those religious people, the Union of Hope or whoever, Isabelle says they got a good radio. I need that to get back home.”

“Well, there you go! I trust you.”

He reached up to tangle his fingers where her hair would be. His imagination wasn’t letting it happen, so he focused with gratefulness that at least he could still hear her.

“Just don’t abuse their trust, and you’ll be alright,” she softly pleaded.

Don’t break their trust? “Angel, you don’t know what I did to end up in this mess.”

Of all the ways he could have daydreamed her reacting, it was that her laughter filled the room. “For the last time, my mangy hick, I am a figment of your imagination and quite literally know everythin’ inside that brain of yours. And I still love you despite that ‘shit-show’ what landed you here.”

He brought to mind the color of her eyes, wanting, wanting, begging for a miracle that would make her truly there with him so he could stare into them all night. “What would you say if I asked ‘that if I don’t find nothing, what good am I?’”

“Y/N, you can blame our raising for that shit right there,” his brother commented.

“You poor boys. Broken people sometimes make for broken kids.”

Gently, he started to perceive the way she would rub her cheek against his chest when she’d lay down with him. “Daryl? If I were here, I’d say things to try and make it stick in your head that your worth ain’t dependent on what you can offer.”

“What does it depend on, then?”

“Careful, you’re treading into religious waters now, and I ain’t sure you’ve got the bandwidth tonight. But God is involved,” she hinted.

This mess was hopeless, wasn’t it? No winning, no out, no happy ending.

“Angel, I can’t come home empty-handed.” He squeezed his eyes tighter and willed himself to not lose his cool yet again. “I can’t come home with no Rick or Michonne, no cure, no nothin’ but a burn, more nightmares, and more lives on my conscience.”

“You can,” she answered simply. “It ain’t all on you. No — please, don’t get any more upset or you’ll wake up again! Daryl, I’ve already slipped so far away!” He heard his wife begin to cry, but the sound went further and further from him. All he could see were the backs of his eyelids.

Still, he held on as best he could. “Please stay here, angel.”

“I-I would, sweetheart.”

“When I’m back, I won’t even want to leave the walls to hunt if it would mean not being next to you, d’you know that?”

“Let someone else hunt. You’ve done enough to last a lifetime.” Her voice was hoarse the way it had been when she’d said those same words to him about a year and a half ago. “More than enough. Oh Daryl, I’m so sorry we’re going.”

“Not yet, angel, please don’t!”

“Use all those things makin’ you homesick as reasons to hope. Do it for me, sugar. Get yourself home again. Don’t die, don’t get bit.”

“I won’t. I’ll get back to you. Tell the kids I love ’em?”

There was silence.

Stillness.

Daryl lay there, accepting that he couldn’t feel Y/N next to him anymore.

His throat tightened. “Angel?”

He doesn’t know why he bothered. She was gone, he knew it. He ran his finger where his ring should’ve been, if he hadn’t lost it.

“Angel,” he tried again.

Silence.

“Babe, please. Please.”

Silence.

“Y/N, please, one more time, angel.”

Silence.

The pain in him was hollow and cold.

Feeling small and helpless, he lifted his arms above his head and held back a wail of despair. He closed his eyes again and, in his head, he cried out in desperation, “Merle?”

At first, there was no answer. He hadn't expected one. Why should he?

But then he heard a quiet, low, “I’m still here.”

Merle spoke slowly and heavily, almost as if it hurt him to admit it. “I don’t think she’s gonna come back tonight, Daryl. You’ve already fallen out a few times. I ain’t gonna be here much longer, neither. You know that.”

Any strength he had left seeped out like a stab wound, leaving him crying like a child. “I can’t see you anymore.”

“I know, little brother.”

“It felt so real.”

“It sure as hell did. I think you needed it, even if it hurts like a bitch now.”

It had felt so, so real!

But it wasn’t. “I’m alone,” he choked out.

“Nothin’ you can’t handle.” For a moment Daryl could make out his brother’s face again. “You’re a tough sumbitch, so I’d advise you act like it. Quit blubberin’ like a baby and wipe the snot out your nose.”

Daryl sniffed and tried to get a grip.

“Good.” Merle’s voice began to echo. He was almost gone, too. “Now listen here: don’t die, don’t get bit. Get your ass back where you belong.”

The room came into view.

The echoing stopped.

The hollow, cold pain he’d felt at knowing they were gone there turned sharp and hot. Turns out, it was actually the throbbing in his arm. Daryl really had turned onto his side, which positioned his burned arm underneath him. He strained to get off it and flip onto his back.

You know what? The pain from his burned arm didn’t hold a candle to the ache in his chest.

Were those tears on his face, too? Guess he must’ve started crying for real in his sleep. Made sense considering how real it all felt. It all felt so real.

If only his pulse would stop racing, he felt sick.

He was getting damned old.

Instinctively, he tried to fiddle with his wedding band, which is when he recalled yet again how he’d lost it. Only a faint tan line remained.

He closed his eyes, exhausted, and chewed at his lip. Another tear or two escaped and ran hot down his cheek.

A strange part of him wished he hadn’t lied to Laurent about having a wife and family back home. At the time he said it so it wouldn't hurt as much, but…

“You deserve a happy ending, too,” the kid had told him. Just like his Judith had, when she saw how low and unworthy he begun to feel. She told her auntie Y/N, too, of course, not that his wife wasn’t unaware of how twisted his head had gotten into thinking he was no good. It didn’t feel twisted to him, it felt honest. He didn’t deserve them. They were too good.

His wife’s words to him played again in his mind. He may have just been making all that shit up in his brain, but he was only remembering a mix of real things that she’d told him before, over and over in the hopes his stupid ass would accept it one day.

“Despite how you feel right now, my vote is you will get that happy ending. It ain’t coincidence that Laurent said so just like our Judith did! How’s that for a reason to hope?”

He did need a reason. It was getting harder and harder to hold onto hope. Any hope.

So, maybe, a weird kid with long hair like TJ’s who drew a picture of some washed-up bum on a beach three weeks before Daryl showed up was reason enough to hope. He could grasp onto that.

If it would get him home, hell yeah, he could do that.

How the same weird kid told him what his niece had and what his wife had could be reason enough, too. He could grasp onto that as well, if it would get him home. He could do that for them.

Daryl ran his hand in slow, gentle circles along his stomach like Y/N would. Maybe he’d been doing this in his dream, which is why it felt so real.

It had all felt so, so real.

------------------------------------------

------------------------------------------

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[hugherin]

⋆ STYLE; QUINN HUGHES. ⋆

when olivia and quinn had a situationship in college, as the years went by neither of them forgot what they had.

warnings: mentions of alcohol and driving while slightly drunk (please don't do this

pairing: quinn hughes x past situationship

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

pov: quinn hughes

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

jackhughes had made a new post

tagged: _quinnhughes, lhughes_06 and nicohischier.

liked by lhughes_06, njdevils and 5,376 others.

jackhughes: great time with those guys 😎

user01: why is luke yelling

jackhughes: bad looser in beer poing 😞

lhughes_06: that's NOT true can you stop lying?

jackhughes: whatever helps you sleep at night sweetie

user02: the quinn's look in the first picture is crazy, who's the lucky girl?

njdevils: my favorite boys!!!!!! so proud 😎

canucks: your what.

oliviarosberg: horrible photographer *liked by _quinnhughes*

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

You and Quinn were the quintessential casual college couple. However, this relationship dynamic was bittersweet for you, especially when he casually placed his hand around your waist, evoking butterflies.

You cherished a memory of Quinn, but it didn't haunt your nights. Today, after a long day of your routine as a nutritionist, you decided to go for a walk at the invitation of Jack and some other mutual friends from college, who were all in town for the Devils-Rangers game.

You walked through the club's main door, peeking out to look for your friends and Jack but meeting a pair of blue eyes with a backwards cap and a beer in one hand. In order to feign custom, you walked up to them after nodding, praying your breath wouldn't catch as you greeted the (not) stranger next to Jack.

It was surprising that Quinn, Nico and even Luke were accompanying Jack to one of his celebrations. but you couldn't say you were upset, because you really weren't. After greeting everyone, only Quinn remained.

"Hi, Quinn", you say with a kiss on the cheek as he quickly places a hand on your waist, returning all the butterflies you swore were dead.

"It's been a while since I saw you for the last time, Olívia. How is the office going?" he asks before taking a long sip of his beer. He'd aged remarkably well.

"Amazing. Cait is my right hand, you know how it is." you say mentioning your best friend who suffered being the third wheel when it came to you and Quinn.

He chuckled in response. You took another look around the place, not taking long to spot your friends and move away from the group of men near the bar.

After a long time, your favorite club song comes on. Britney Spears was timeless. To you, Britney will always be a timeless icon.

Sipping your freshly-arrived martini from the bar, you hum the lyrics to Toxic as you dance to the floor with your friends who are even more excited than you. Before you know it, you're on your third martini and staring from afar at the blue eyes that seem to smile at you.

You and Quinn never talked about what you had in the past. It wasn't something that bothered you since you were always good friends, but the question of "what could we have been?" always lingered in your head.

During your cloud of thoughts, you barely notice that your friends have hitched a ride home in the arms of tall blond men who seem to be enjoying the women's cheer. You go to the bar to get a bottle of water and find Quinn ordering the Rum and Coke, her favorite drink.

"Still into this?" you say close to your ear due to loud music.

Quinn, in response, lets out a low laugh as he quickly looks away from her mouth to her eyes. "Still into in so many things." He says, taking a sip of his drink and staring at you with dilated pupils. You remember loving to watch that change in his eyes and how it was one of your favorite details. "Your friends seem to be having fun. Do you need a ride home?"

You rethink the proposal in your mind. Bringing things from the past into the present wasn't really something you did, but with Quinn things had always been different, which makes you nod almost involuntarily.

Quinn then reaches behind his back as he makes way through the small crowd to the club's entrance, opening the car afterward.

For some stupid introverted reason, Luke and Nico were in the backseat of the car having a argument about, if you heard right, "why women never go to the bathroom without their friends".

"I'm telling you, dude! It must be some kind of cult or secret group. It doesn't make any sense to go in a group to a place like that." Nico says with an expression of someone who was discussing a super serious matter while Luke just nodded.

"You guys look like Chandler and Joey" you say as you feel a sting in your eye. You hated it when a hair from your eyelashes fell into your eye while you had mascara on. "I think I got something in my eye, can you blow it out?" you say quickly turning to Quinn who huffed and then gave you a quick kiss on the cheek.

You found the act affectionate, but you still didn't know if it was an act of friendship or of friends with benefits like in the old days. Quinn was affectionate even before you thought about being more than friends. Faking a fake cough, Luke says he needs to go back to pick up Jack with the other friends, noting that they will use Nico's car to get home when Quinn inquires.

"So..." Quinn says as he turns the key in the car, making it move "How is your life going? outside of work."

"I haven't had time for much" You said with a slightly tired voice. It was Friday and you had spent the day putting together diets for an entire soccer team. You loved your job, but it was undeniable how tired it got to you sometimes. "You know, family time and all that stuff. I still do game night on the first day of the month." you say turning to face him. Quinn has a serene expression looking at the track, until he stops at a red light.

"I loved the game nights" he says, his eyes shining as he stares at you. "I miss this."

You just shook your head in response. You didn't want to talk about old traditions with Quinn. You wanted to step on the gas pedal of that car and get home as quickly as possible. Running away from discomfort? No. Avoiding problems? Maybe.

"How are things with Cassie?" you asked with a pang in your heart. You had heard rumors through your friends (who were still in touch with some people from high school) about Quinn's relationship with a model.

"Well, there's no more Cassie. I ended things months ago."

Awkward silence.

"Listen" he started. "I'll be honest with you. Months ago, Caity posted a story with you in it."

He took a breath, turning the corner of his house and stopping on the street in front of the door. "And, Olívia, you looked stunning. I haven't been able to get you out of my head since that day. I know I should have said this when we still had something, but" you stop him with a kiss.

You kissed in a different way than you had ever kissed before. It was different. Now it seemed like nothing could stop you.

His hands pulled your thigh into his lap as he placed his hands between your waist and the back of your neck. Butterflies seemed to crush the skin of your stomach as you placed kisses on Quinn's neck, hearing his murmur in response.

You tangled your hands in the curls at the nape of his neck, which seemed a little longer now. You couldn't deny how attractive it was, especially with the minty scent coming from him.

"Olivia, please" he says, in a whisper as he tries to dodge the kisses on your neck. "Tell me you feel the same way." he looks at you with eyes that seem to beg for a single correct answer.

You knew you couldn't be sure of a stable relationship considering both of your professional lives, but having a concrete thing with Quinn was something you wanted since you met him.

"I feel. I swear I feel. We need to talk calmly about how this will go in the future but honestly I don't want to do that right now." you say, taking his hand to your waist again, begging him to understand what you mean, having a genuine smile followed by a laugh in response.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

jackhughes has made a new story.

jackhughes had made a new story on close friends.

pov: quinn hughes

oliviarosberg just made a new post

liked by _quinnhughes, jackhugues and 576 others.

oliviarosberg: he can't keep his wild eyes on the road

caitbazyen: HOT.

oliviarosberg: miss u :(

01hughesslut: the same outfit as jack's deleted story in public story... i mean should we celebrate?

oliviarosberg: definitely don't know who is this dude

jackhughes: wondering who is the guy in the second picture

oliviarosberg: lol that's my buddy 😎 *liked by _quinnhughes*

a/n: so nervous doing this, think i edited it like 45 times 😭

[timeclipsed]

Hello hello hello to all my mutuals, and to all the ones I haven't followed back too! The last few days have been so hectic that I haven't had the chance to sit down and properly articulate my thoughts until now, so I hope you can forgive me for missing the mark a little here.

With this bummer of a year finally coming to an end, I know a lot of people are scrambling to find something hopeful to hear to give them faith for 2025. Reassurance, acknowledgement, kindness— anything to at least put a pretty bow on top of everything. Maybe some of you received that of which you were looking for, maybe some of you didn't and were saddened by it.

If I could, I would send every single one of you a personalized message telling you how much you mean and how happy I am that you are here with me. I suppose something more generalized doesn't have the exact same sentiment, but regardless I want to tell you that I see you, and that I care for you. Even if nobody else in the world has made you feel valued or seen, I promise that I do. You are so real, and so, so rare.

In the short time I've been here, this silly little community has become a home to me. It's always fun when things get chaotic, or when we're sharing promos, or talking about the same topics. Every single presence on my dashboard matters to me, because it creates an entirely new verse in this big, endless orchestral song we're all performing together. And every time we get a new player, with their own new instrument, I get so happy! No matter how minimal or fickle you think your contributions are, I hope you know that I appreciate them. You are beautifully articulate writers with intricately wonderful portrayals and uniquely valuable concepts/ideas. And you, in your own little ways, help to cultivate this community and make it into the exciting, welcoming place it is now! Whether you're an AU writer, or you're so canon divergent that sometimes your character doesn't even seem like the original thing, or you're entirely about OCs, or even all of the above, everything you do here is great! Thank you for being brave enough to share your thoughts with the world; with us, with me!

I may not know any of you very well, or have an idea of what you face in your real lives day-to-day, but beyond a shadow of a doubt I know that you're so brave for waking up every morning to face it and even still having the motivation to come online everyday and show us your most creative thoughts and visions! You're tenacious, resilient, and best of all you're you! You can take whatever this wacked out life throws at you and still stand tall to come back for more!

You know the craziest part? You faced that uphill battle head-on, a conflict you can only take one day at a time, and you won. Every single fight this year threw at you, you overcame. I am so proud of you! So, so extremely proud! Maybe you had days that didn't feel great or nights where you made mistakes that you regret, but those are leaps and bounds away now! Because you're still growing every single day! And now you're here, in the future!

Well, I could go on, but I won't take up any more of your time. I don't know if this is anything, or if it will matter much in the long run... but I do hope you all recognize that the sentiment is here, and that it's not going away any time soon (much like you, heheh, go you go!).

Thank you for being here, and for being you. Happy 2025!

[tuesdaykiss]

“touching toes”

rafe cameron social media au

“he’s over more and more, had to give him a whole drawer. to be honest, kinda like seeing his trainers by the door.” — olivia dean, ‘touching toes’.

synopsis: after finishing her fashion studies at college in nyc, y/n moves to outerbanks to live with her grandparents. she worries about the loneliness that comes with being in a new place, knowing only her cousin topper and other relatives… that is until she is acquainted with a certain cameron.

part — 18 | 19 | 20

masterlist

later that evening, the two of you found yourselves sitting on the couch opposite the end of the bed. the air between you was still charged with the weight of your earlier conversation, but somehow it was lighter. rafe’s arm draped over the back of the sofa, fingers brushing against your shoulder absentmindedly. feeling a sense of comfort from this newfound understanding between you both, you leaned into him slightly.

the moment was shattered by the sound of the hotel door swinging open. sarah stormed in, her dress bag slung lazily over her shoulder and a pair of heels dangled from her fingers. her cheeks were flushed, her expression a mixture of anger and exhaustion.

“seriously, rafe?” she snapped at her brother, her voice remained sharp as she organised her things.

you froze, distance growing between you and rafe on the couch as he crossed his arms. he wasn’t surprised by her outburst, if anything he looked like he has been bracing for it.

“what now?” he questioned, keeping his tone cool.

pointing an accusatory finger at him, sarah spun around, “what now? are you serious, rafe? what now?” her eyes darted to you for a brief moment before returning to him, “that picture, on your story! the whole fucking world saw it!”

you swallowed hard, feeling your cheeks heat up. you hadn’t even looked at the aftermath, too afraid of what you’d find.

“so what?” rafe shot back, his nonchalance clearly irritating his sister, “it was a joke, sarah.”

she scoffed, “a joke? you posted a picture of her arse!”

sarah began pacing around the room, her hands pulling through her hair, “do you have any idea what you have done? people are going to dig. they’re going to speculate. and you’ve brought her into this… MESS!”

the weight of sarah’s words settled over the three of you, the room going quiet. rafe’s jaw tightened but before he could form a response, sarah let out a frustrated sigh and flopped onto the bed.

“i mean, seriously, rafe,” she muttered, palms covering her face, “could you not have just waited ‘til after my show?”

sarah knew there was nothing going on between you and her brother, you had told her that yourself. but she couldn’t help but feel anger over the stolen limelight; rafe’s post had sent her fandom into a frenzy, causing them to forget about her big day. you let out a sigh of relief, realising her anger wasn’t directed towards you.

you opened your mouth to say something, but sarah’s next words stopped you.

“because, oh… my…god! my rehearsal today was amazing!” she suddenly gushed, her voice abruptly taking on an excited, sing-song tone as she sat up.

“you should’ve seen it,” she continued, her earlier anger momentarily forgotten, “the lighting was perfect, the music was flawless and the models? oh, we killed it! i cannot wait for you to see it tomorrow!”

a smile crept onto your face, despite the tension. that was sarah for you — she couldn’t stay mad for long, not with something so exciting on her mind.

“you looked stunning on the photo you sent me,” you said softly, intending to steer the conversation further away from rafe’s post.

she beamed at you, “i just can’t believe this is really happening. i mean, loewe, really? i get to walk for loewe!”

rafe took the opportunity to chime in, his voice softer now, “i’m really proud of you, sar. you deserve this.”

her gaze flicked to him, her expression softening slightly, “thanks, rafe,” she said, though she didn’t let him off the hook entirely, “but don’t think this means i’ve forgotten about your post. we’ll continue that conversation later.”

rafe sighed, his hands up in mock surrender, “fine, later.”

yourusername

liked by sarahcameron, rafecam and 4,263 others

yourusername can’t sleep bc @/sarahcameron is walking for loewe tomorrow ❤️

view comments

sarahcameron i love youuuuuu

sarahcameron i’m so excitedd arghhh

yourusername i know, you’ve been jumping on the bed for half an hour

user real

sarahfan101 so we’re just gonna forget about rafe’s post?

user2 that’s what i thought, she hasn’t said anything on it

user3 do you think they’re a thing?

user2 i hope not that’s MY man

sarahupdates so proud ❤️

johnbr fine you can give her a good luck kiss (cheek only) from me

yourusername already did jb, 100 times

kiaracarrera if you look closely you can see me in between you both

itscleo squint and you’ll see me too

that night, the hotel room was quiet except for the faint hi um of the air conditioning. rafe had retreated to his own room. you and sarah were sprawled out in the plush king-sized bed, the soft glow of the bedside lamp casting a warm light over the room. she was scrolling aimlessly on her phone, still buzzing from her rehearsals earlier that day, while you stared at the ceiling, attempting to gather your thoughts.

she let out a soft sigh, looking at you with an expectant look as she turned, “so,” she began, setting her phone on the nightstand. “are we going to talk about it, or are you just going to act like my brother didn’t post a picture of your arse?”

“i was hoping you’d forget about that,” you groaned, throwing your arm over your face and laughing, “and it was hardly my arse!”

sarah snorted. “forget about it? are you joking? i’ve been dying to bring it up all day… i need answers.” she shifted her face to you, propping her head on her arms, “so spill. tell me, what’s going on?”

“i already told you—”

“oh, come on,” sarah said, nudging you side, “i’m not that stupid, i’m not falling for the whole ‘it’s a joke’ act, you’ve got going on.”

you sighed in defeat, your stomach knotting as you tried to conjure up what to say next. “it’s… complicated,” you mumbled, your gaze stuck on the ceiling.

a/n: have so much to do, but i’ll aim to finish the next part in time i promise

me when i have posted all my pre-made chapters…

taglist: @my-name-is-baby @yesshewrites1 @urbrunettebombshell @leather-n-velvet @fruitcakerafe @littlefreak-liz @wdwbts101 @akobx @lossfairy @marleymarleymarleymarley @jjmaybankmylovee @mbella607 @scream4mami @mrsdrewstarkeyy @honeyluvsatj

[freesia-writes]

Behind the Scenes of a Writer's Mind

I noticed something tonight that I thought might be helpful to share. You [hopefully] often hear fanfic writers urging interaction and support. It may seem selfish or prideful at first glance, but there's a lot more to it. Have a seat. 😉

The best metaphor I've heard is someone who loves cooking for others. Yes, they do it because they like it, but there's a deep gratification in sharing that work and talent with others and getting to hear how much it was loved and enjoyed. Same with writing.

I asked my favorite author @dystopicjumpsuit about her works -- which had the most emotional impact, which was the tastiest smut, which is her best piece, etc -- and was delighted to hear her answers because there were elements that I hadn't known or noticed, and it made me so excited to read them again (and a few for the first time, haha). It gave a new appreciation, a neat back story, and a richer experience to the fics. (READ THE ASK/ANSWER HERE)

She turned the ask back on me, and while I hadn't expected that, I was surprised at the process as I tried to answer. I had taken a good half a year off from writing after finishing the Hunter longfic. I had poured my heart and soul into it, and when it was done posting, it was kinda... empty. Life also was fairly crazy, so this side of me kinda went away for a while. I still wanted to write. I missed being here. But there was just no inspiration or motivation, and you can't force that.

But something neat happened when DJ gave me the chance to consider my own work. I reread some oldies. I smiled at things I'd forgotten about. The questions forced me to look at the good parts, my favorite parts, the best parts that I'm most proud of.

As a writer, it's easy to forget that. You get used to writing, you get used to your style and approach and voice, and sometimes it just gets to a point of "why bother"? ESPECIALLY if there's no feedback from readers. But it was awesome to be reminded of how my writing brings me joy, and that it's a particular area of gifting but also something that's honed and developed and refined over the years.

Considering the beautiful elements of what I've been able to create breathed fresh life into me. It brought confidence where there had been indifference. It reminded me of the fun of writing and the unpredictable nature of how it all goes down. It rekindled some of that joy of bringing delight to others with my time and effort. It rejuvenated the creative part of me that loves the process as well as the product.

So WRITERS -- if you're in a pit, perhaps read some of your own stuff. Enjoy it. Read works by other authors you love and ask them about it -- it'll likely remind you of some experiences of your own. But also, if the motivation isn't there, don't sweat it. Enjoy what you can and, if the fickle mistress of inspiration returns, bang that thang til fics fall out. (I'll see myself out, thank you.)

And READERS -- you enjoy what we create, yeah? Do you know that you'd likely enjoy it wayyy more if you had a lil behind-the-scenes knowledge? It truly enriches the experience all around, AND it's so encouraging to authors to be able to share not only the finished product but some of the joy of the process. So don't be afraid -- drop some asks, leave questions in reblogs, engage!!

If you've read this far (without skipping, you weasels), please consider this a free ticket for a fic request. ;) Drop one in my inbox and we shall see if the gods smile upon my mushy brain and clumsy fingers. But also, thank you for reading, and I hope that both writers and readers are encouraged to enjoy this space more fully!

FREESIA OUT 😘

[peachhcs]

alright blarie and sammy meeting? and sammy is like oh she’s adorable 🥺

i feel like those novels where the author writes their books in the same universes and then their characters from different books end up meeting and everyone is like omg it’s all connected

any au i do is almost always gonna connect and be in the same “universe” hence the samy + will universe i’ve started LOL

au masterlist

“just don’t freak her out, okay?” mack said as he led will and samy to where blaire was waiting. the brunette pinched her eyebrows together. “freak her out? why would i do that? we literally know each other,” the girl laughed, her arm clinging to will’s as they walked.

“i don’t know, she’s really nervous to meet you though,” mack shrugged and something inside samy was flattered that mack’s girlfriend was nervous to meet her because she’s never thought she was someone that people got nervous around.

after mentioning to blaire that samy was coming back to san jose, the figure skater sort of begged mack to meet her. she’s heard so much about the soccer player from both mack and will and from the little she remembered when they met so many years ago, she wanted to properly meet the girl that her boyfriend considered a sister.

“sometimes you get a little too excited..” will half teased, only being allowed to say that because he was her boyfriend.

“hey! i just love meeting new people,” the girl rolled her eyes.

the three rounded the corner and caught sight of blaire leaning up against the wall waiting for them. she heard their footsteps and their voices, immediately straightening herself up when she met their gaze.

“hey, pretty girl,” mack greeted her first with a loving hug and peck on the cheek. she giggled at his affection and will and samy watched like proud parents.

“hi, great game tonight,” blaire cheered and then her gaze slid to the couple standing a few feet away.

“wow, you must be samy. it’s good to..re-meet you?” blaire laughed at her choice of words, sticking her hand out to the girl in front of her.

samy was a hugger though. she detached her arm from will’s to bring the dirty blonde into a gentle squeeze. “it’s good to see you again, blaire. i didn’t even know you went here.”

“yeah, it was such a coincidence. i can’t believe you’re like some star soccer player now,” blaire was surprised by the hug, but she quickly squeezed samy back. when they pulled away the two girls exchanged friendly smiles.

“yeah, i definitely did a 180. i really love it though. i’m so glad you’re still figure skating though, that’s awesome. mack says you’re really good,” the older girl glanced over at the younger brunette who flushed.

“he’s just saying that,” blaire blushed, shaking her head. she always got warm and bubbly whenever mack praised her talent.

“i promise i’m not. you’re the best i know,” mack praised her again and samy smiled seeing blaire so blushy around the boy. she remembered how blushy she was around will when they first got together and how blushy she still got.

“so how about we grab dinner together? i’d love to get to know you more since we last saw each other when we were like twelve,” samy chuckled and everyone quickly agreed.

samy got herself into will’s car while mack rode with blaire. the brunette was grinning from ear to ear, “i already love her.”

“it’s weird seeing him so happy, right?” will chuckled as they pulled out of the lot after blaire who led the way to the restaurant.

“yeah, but he’s happy. i’ve never seen mack that happy before. i mean he’s always happy, but that was really happy,” samy emphasized making her boyfriend laugh.

“i think mack’s glad you like her. he’s been waiting for you to meet her all week,” the blonde hummed which further proved how much the younger brunette looked up to the the couple and wanted their approval. the thought made both of them smile.

dinner went really well. samy and blaire talked the entire time about life and their boyfriends and their sports while will and mack just sat back and listened. it was pretty safe to say blaire and mack were getting an invite to the lake house next summer.

when they finished and walked back onto the sidewalk samy pulled the younger rookie aside for a moment.

“i really like her. she’s adorable,” the girl said quietly while blaire chatted with will about something. mack quickly smiled.

“you do?”

“i can see how much she likes you and you like her,” the brunette pinched his cheek and the boy flushed.

“i’m glad you like her. i’m glad will likes her too,” they eyed the other two laughing about something.

“i hope i see her everytime i come back,” samy squeezed his arm before joining into blaire and will’s conversation.

[skywarpie]

little devils - Dad Aether fic

Pairing: Papa Emeritus IV/Aether Ghoul

Rating: gen

tags: domestic fluff, house husband Aether/dad Aether finally getting attention from me bc I'm always ignoring him, half ghoul child OCs

Summary: The Impera tour has recently kicked off, only Aether isn't on this tour cycle. Instead, he's at the ministry working on their taxes and babysitting his kids.

Translations:

I mieli bambini! - My babies!

Babbo - Daddy

Poco sole - little sunshine.

words: 1,631

AO3 link

Aether lays stretched out on the floor with one arm folded under his chin. The other holding his phone. Originally there for the purpose of the game the girls had wanted to play but quickly lost interest in. Something that seemed to he happening recently these days.

“Are you calling babbo ?” Poppy asks as she wiggles herself under his arm holding the phone. Several red curls fall into her face and she pushes them away with the back of her tiny hand. Her tail wags lazily behind her as she looks up at him expectedly with eyes matching Copia's. 

“Hmm. What makes you ask that?” Aether takes the opportunity to tuck the curls she's still fighting with behind her small horns. 

“Because you aren't paying attention to us anymore.” Salem flops herself down on his back. Her tiny form is comical compared to Aether’s. Unlike her sister, her light blonde hair is tied loosely at the nap of her neck. A tiny paw reaching out for his phone, which he quickly moves from her grasp. “Hey!” She pouts and butts the back of his dead with her own horns. 

He chuckles, glad the both of them are now more comfortable presenting themselves without their glamors. Being part human had its perks, apparently. At barely a year old, the both of them had been able to glamorize themselves, something that sometimes even took a full blooded ghoul decades to perfect. While Aether was proud, Copia had been filled with panic, one moment holding a normal baby and the next holding a ghoul kit that wasn't aware they possessed very sharp horns. 

“Is this normal!? Should this be happening?!” 

Even four years later, Aether can still hear the panic in his mate and it’s just as amusing as day one. And although he'd never admit it, Aether knows he was much the same when they were in their human forms.

“And if I am?” He hums nonchalantly. 

“We want to talk to him!” They spout in unison, something that was very common for twins. At least according to Copia. Aether was still unsure about that though. 

He mocks offense. “What about me!?”

Poppy's brow furrows. “We're talking to you right now!”

“And because of that you can't keep doing it?”

Salem let's own a tiny growl over his shoulder that has him laughing. 

“Fine. Fine. You've twisted my arm. We'll call him.”

Both kits perk up, their ears jumping to attention as their tails wags furiously. It's incredibly enduring and Aether vaguely wonders when he became so domestic.

The three of them watch the tiny screen as it mirrors them while ringing. Copia's currently on the other side of the world, performing at various festivals and venues. But Aether has the timing down to a T. He should be done or just about done. If they're lucky, he's already back in his hotel room.

On the fifth ring, he picks up and his thick nasally mixture of Italian and American accents fills the room.

“I mieli bambini !“

“ Babbo !” 

The girls crowd around the screen, tails wagging even faster as they try to squeeze in as close as possible. 

Copia responds with exaggerated mwah's as he pretends to kiss the screen the same way he would their foreheads if he were there. “How have you been? Good girls for your daddy, I hope.” He arches a sculpted brow before looking playfully at his mate.

“They've been absolutely terrible. ” 

Aether watches as a look of alarm replaces Copia's excited one. 

“One minute they want to play one thing, the next minute I'm nothing but a jungle gym!” 

His expression softens and he laughs, glad it's nothing too serious. “Si. They seem to be good at that. Eh?” He flashes the twins a smile. It earns him a fit of giggles.

“How is touring?” 

Copia's demeanor changes once more. Only now it's one of exhaustion. “Tiring. I don't remember the last tour cycles being this..intense.”

“To be fair, the last tour cycle was nearly seven years and one pandemic ago. I think that checks out.” 

“I was also probably about thirty pounds lighter then too.” Copia's laugh is dry, a poor attempt at making it sound like a joke.

Aether remembers the last tour vividly. It's when he was christened as Papa Emeritus IV and was no longer Cardinal Copia. It'd been shortly after the end of that tour that they'd learned they were going to be parents. He remembers Copia frantically flitting about his office, trying to occupy himself with anything to create a distraction. Because the thought of two newborns and having to write a new album were definitely taking a toll on him mentally. Shortly after that the world had shut down and it almost seemed to work in his favor. The album was no longer a priority. 

It had taken several years for things to smooth back into place and it wasn't until this tour cycle, the Impera Tour, that they'd both realized it was either leaving the kits at the ministry or bringing them on tour with them. Copia had liked the second idea better. He'd barely been away from them longer than a day before, let alone months. There’d been a numerous amount of discussion until finally it was settled. Aether would remain at the ministry, keeping up with the paperwork Copia was undoubtedly still receiving while also taking care of Poppy and Salem. In return, Copia and the rest of the band (plus two new members) would go on tour.

“Babbo,” Poppy chimes in, “how many more tours till you come home?” 

“Ah,” now Copia sighs, “about a dozen more.” He frowns as their faces fall. “But it will be over in no time! They are scheduled back to back, remember?” He wags his finger in the air.

“How many days is that?” Salem is apparently having none of it.

“Eh, I'm  – I'm not sure, poco sole. ” 

It's not what she wants to hear. Her tail stops swaying. “That's not fair.” Her lip pouts out as her eyebrows scrunch together.

“Hey, hey, what did we say about pouting?” Aether takes the opportunity to roll her off his back.

“I don't care!”

“Crying isn't going to bring babbo home any sooner.”

She looks on the verge of tears and Copia takes the opportunity to interject. “Poco sole, babbo will be home in three weeks. Does that sound better?”

“We want you to come home now.” Poppy's sad features obscure the camera from her sister and father. 

“Ah, I know. I know. Babbo wishes he could be there now too. But I have to finish the tour. It's what helps our ministry grow!” 

Still unsatisfied with the answer, the twins seem to grow more agitated. Aether glances at the clock. “Hey, didn't Sunshine say she had a new flavor of ice cream for y'all to try?”

They gasp in unison, giggling and grabbing each other's hands as they race toward the door. Small shouts of bye echoing. 

“Aether!”

The ghoul turns back to the screen.

“They can't have ice cream without having eaten dinner first. See, this is why I didn't want to leave. It's chaos!”

Aether knows where this is going. Another spiraling incident. His mate seems to be having those a lot more recently. 

“I doubt one time will hurt. Besides, how I parent when you aren't here isn't a concern.” Copia gapes, mouth sputtering. “Now tell me, for real. How is the tour?”

That tired look crosses his face again. A hand runs through his hair while the Papa sighs. “I don't know, Aether. One minute I think it's going well and then the next I don't. Maybe I'm getting too old for this stuff.”

“Hip injury acting up?” The old ballet wound had forced him to walk with a cane for several years. Occasionally rearing its head.

“A bit. I think I just really miss home. Well, not home home but you guys. Eh, if that makes sense.”

“It does and we miss you too.” 

They settle into comfortable silence for a small time before Aether asks the burning question. “The new kids doing good?”

“Oh, fantastic! Aurora is a gem and Phantom plays beautifully only…”

“He's not me.”

“Si. He's not you.”

“You'll get used to it. Don't worry. Besides, in no time you'll be home and then you'll have me all to yourself.” A mischievous glint shines in his eyes. One that has a red dusting coating Copia's painted cheeks. 

An announcers voice cuts through the background as they mention the next band playing. Copia looks defeated as he sighs. 

“That's us. I'll talk to you tomorrow?”

“Or later tonight. You know those two little devils don't let anyone sleep longer than an hour or two.”

Copia laughs a genuine laugh, the first one of the call. 

They spend another minute or two telling the other bye until finally a crew member essentially yanks Copia from the phone and onto the stage. Aether chuckles as he tosses his phone to the side and stretches. A part of him is glad he isn't on tour. It's always nice but he truly has become a domesticated creature, now preferring the ministry over the stage.

He drags himself off the floor and stands, stretching again.

“ Daddy! ” The twins run in, shouting in unison. Each one latches onto a hand as they jump up and down. It's then that Aether sees the sticky ice cream drying all over their tiny mouths. Thank Lucifer Copia isn't here. He'd kill me.

“You have to try the ice cream!”

“It's the best!”

“Hm, is that right?”

“Uh-huh!”

He lets them lead him out and into the ghoul den’s small kitchenette. 

There's definitely no way any of them will be sleeping tonight.

[confusionism]

Anna may have considered other spots more ‘posh’ than this, but Aiden wouldn’t ever have wagered such a guess, not with the wide variety of goods she has gathered, and not with the coziness of the spot she has found. He lives for the places like this: low-key despite the constant buzz, easy to disappear into no matter the odds. He gives thanks for her work before scooting his chair closer.

“Maybe I will.” Not just ‘maybe.’ He didn't build the life he has now by hanging between the edges of ‘yes’ and ‘no,’ and he won’t start with any of that now. “—Not because I wouldn’t have peace if I didn’t, but… I guess it’s—” he tilts his head as his words slow, “—it’s something your dad said. When we were fixing the lights in the garage?” Slicing a dumpling carefully, he explains, “He was really, really excited you were there. You and Theo. Like just the thought of you guys coming home, and how proud he was.”

Aiden has never needed approval, and he doesn’t need it now. Rather, it’s more of: “I don’t really know what Pops thinks.” How he feels. Is it any surprise that his father is as closed-off as him? “—Could be good to know.” Why was he always so difficult to reach? Why had he never accepted a cent of his recent years' earnings?There were always more questions than answers, and when the latter no longer fit into his typical cycle of thinking, of training, of simply being, Aiden was content to leave them be. Maybe it was time for a change?

Now, his next bit of silence isn’t from the heaviness of his words as much as it is the need for focus. Mealtimes have always been quieter than the rest, one part savoring the flavours, another part appreciating the mere substance. He hums approval without noticing it, as thoughtful in his chews as he is swift.

The only time he slows is when she broaches a different kind of ‘maybe,’ the kind that they haven’t quite spoken of at all. When he swallows, he leans back in his seat, watching as she drags her fork around. “You think you’ll still be ‘crazy’ about ‘some guy’ by then?” The question is as soft as it is earnest. He’s made plenty of people ‘crazy,’ sure, but it’s never been like this. And she’s been so generous over the past few weeks, beyond the patience with his notorious fumbles…

Maybe it’s his turn.

“I met this girl who…” What was the best way to describe Anna Ricci? “She showed up at my office, ready to chew my ass out, to tell me to ‘bugger off.’” It was largely stupidity on his part, but his lips curve into a small smile. He shifts in his seat, gently bumping his knee against hers. “I’m glad she didn’t. I really like her, and… If she’d have me…” A question, an offer, a confession, he speaks as calmly as he does, no matter how warm the center of his chest feels. “I’d celebrate more than just Christmas with her.”

"I've got this." Anna's a take-charge sort of woman, and she's observed enough of Aiden's likes and dislikes from their short time together to know what to pick. Ultimately, they end up with an assortment fit for a shmorgasboard; crunchy flatbreads of every variety, charred brussel sprouts, pork dumplings contrasted with portabello arancini... All finished off with two whiskeys, neat. "There looks good." It's on a less crowded spot in the outdoor eatery, with a good view of the tree without drawing too much focus.

"Have you?" She guesses from Aiden's pause that the message was akin to that in a bottle, set off to sea. The question remains; was he secretly relieved that his dad never called back, or haunted by it? She unfurls the cutlery, attentive as she sets up both their settings. "You try, too." Anna mentions gently. Would he have called, if a part of him didn't want to try?

She doesn't need to know everything, to know that it's in his head. Yet unlike her Christmas presents, this isn't something they can tie up in a bow, with crisp corner and a tidy ending. Some things are, and may continue to be, messy. And though Aiden doesn't seem like the sort to engage in a messy, he is far more formidable to withstand one. "I think that you should call him, if you can be at peace with any outcome."

Reverting back to her Anna-sense of grounding, she continues; "I showed up at your office ready for you to blow me off. Thanks, but no thanks. I'm just not that into you..." She quotes the cliches she's heard, ones that don't hold much power anymore. "And I know he's your dad, I know it's not the same as telling some guy you're crazy about to bugger off. But some of it translates-" Like bravery and acceptance, hard things to build up to, impossible to deny once there.

"I think you've taught me just as much." How to fix a loose wheel on her luggage, the importance of not eating too much sugar before watching a soccer game (she was sleepless that night). "Maybe..." She plays with the food on her plate, before adding; "Maybe we can do it again, next year."

[rxttencaviar]

kinda sad in a way thats hard to articulate. not because i cant, but because its hard to say it in a way thatll come out right and no one will get upset at me for.

[polycraftory]

Some Saturday NYCC cosplay photos! I was so excited to meet another Danny! We have so so many photos to post from this weekend (especially from the Friday Critter Meetup!) but we'll be posting more once we've slept (and after we go feral buying books today).

If you met us at comic con (or just love cosplay and want to talk shop), feel free to shoot us a message! We need more cosplay & crafting friends 💜

🪡 Danny Phantom Jacket & Trafalgar Law One Piece Overalls from Kiki's Attire.

👻 Ghost Thermos & Flame from Givewave Studios. Thank you so much for the custom Danny flame color 💚

[unawakening-float07]

i had one beer with one of my closest friends and my bf while we watched a country singer preform at a biker bar and it has been the greatest night of my life